Run to the Ball: How Self-Advocacy Changes the Play

On October 15th, we kicked off our first BIL Impact DEN event of the semester. The breakfast was more than a morning of connection; it was a call to action. Our guest speaker Heather Nemelka, founder of Elavare, invited attendees to step forward, speak up, and “run to the ball.” 

Heather’s message was clear: you don’t get what you deserve in life; you get what you have the courage to ask for. Drawing from 20 years of leadership and marketing experience, and her own journey returning to the workforce as a single mother of five, she offered a framework for turning hesitation into confident self-advocacy. 

Facing the Fear of Asking 

Many professionals hold back from asking for what they want, whether it’s a raise, a new project, or a leadership opportunity. Heather unpacked the common fears: being seen as too ambitious, unclear career paths, and discomfort with self-promotion. She reminded us that self-advocacy isn’t about demanding more. It is about owning your impact. 

The R.I.S.E. Framework 

Heather’s signature R.I.S.E. Framework breaks self-advocacy into four practical steps 

1. Recognize Your Value – Start a kudos file to document compliments, achievements, and positive feedback. Confidence requires evidence, and evidence fades if you don’t capture it. 
2. Initiate Conversations – Don’t wait for opportunities to appear. Schedule that meeting. Present your ideas. The world rewards those who ask for what they want. 
3. Seek Support – Surround yourself with mentors, allies, and sponsors who pull for you when you’re not in the room. 
4. Exceed Expectations – Going above and beyond isn’t about doing more work—it’s about delivering exceptional value that makes your contributions visible. 

Each step builds courage and credibility. “If you don’t know your worth,” Heather said, “you can’t expect others to know it either.”  

A Story that Stuck 

Heather shared a defining career moment: after being passed over for a promised promotion, she found herself discouraged until a senior leader asked her, “Are you running to the ball?” 

That question changed everything. Instead of waiting to be noticed, Heather conducted a gaps analysis. It is a concise outline of how she could improve areas she touched and presented it to her company’s leadership. Two weeks later, she was promoted to a global role. 

“In life—as in baseball—the person who runs to the ball changes the play,” she reflected. 

The Self-Advocacy Toolkit 

Heather closed with a practical four-part toolkit anyone can start today 

• Start a kudos file. Track wins, praise, and outcomes. 

• Set a 30-day self-advocacy goal. Choose one concrete action that moves your career forward. 

• Identify a mentor or ally. Ask for a short, structured check-in. 

• Commit to one visible action. Volunteer, propose an idea, or raise your hand and speak up in a meeting. 

Even small “swings,” she said, build confidence and evidence over time. 

Speak with Confidence 

Language matters. Heather encouraged attendees to replace tentative phrases with confident ones 

• “I recommend …” instead of “I think …” 

• “Let’s consider …” instead of “Maybe we could …” 

• “Thank you for your patience …” instead of “I’m sorry …” 

• “I will / I plan to …” instead of “I’ll try …” 

Small linguistic shifts can transform how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself. 

Your Next Move 

Heather left attendees with one powerful reminder: don’t wait for opportunity—create it! Confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you build through evidence, practice, and persistence. 

Start your 30-day self-advocacy goal today. Recognize your value, initiate the conversation, seek support, and exceed expectations. Run to the ball—and change the play.