Content Warning: Death, abuse, mental illness.
We did most of our growing up in North Carolina and Washington. There are four sisters
in our family, and we are all completing college now as adults. Our childhood was
not easy, and we have overcome a lot to be where we are today.
Our dad was diabetic since his childhood and was sick for most of our lives. Everything
that could happen to him, as a diabetic, did — stroke, double amputee, lost vision,
kidney transplant, multiple heart attacks. The ambulance was at our house often. With
Dad there was always a major crisis happening, and, in the midst of it, our house
was also laced with violence and poverty. Being recipients of that violence, while
also not knowing if our electricity would be on the next day, made for some very scary
situations.
Cathy:
My mother once told me that I didn’t need an education because being pretty was more
important. I guess you could say that having an education wasn’t exactly encouraged
in my family. So, I really struggled in school. Sometimes I didn’t even see the point
in trying. I didn’t have the confidence or support to be a good student. So, I barely
graduated from high school with a 2.1 GPA. After graduation, I was lucky enough to
meet my husband while at another school in Idaho and we decided to move to Utah, where
he’s from.
I really had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, so my husband encouraged me
to go to college, so I applied to Utah Valley Community College (UVCC). UVCC/UVU may
have had an open-enrollment policy, but I was still nervous about applying. I was
so excited when I got in! Because of my poor learning and studying skills, I had to
start at ground zero. My math skills were so terrible that my first math class at
UVCC was learning multiplication tables! It was embarrassing! After two years of being
at UVCC and only one class away from earning my AAS degree, we moved out of state
for work. I was so disappointed that I couldn’t finish. Fast-forward to 2013 we had
the opportunity to move back to Utah! One of the biggest things on our pro list to
move here was that I could re-enroll at UVU. I was so excited to return to college
and finish what I started so long ago. Being a nontraditional student has been extremely
humbling, but the professors and students have become my friends. I admit that I have
shed a lot of tears and had some doubts about some of my abilities. It hasn’t been
easy, but I have worked really hard! And now I can say that I have an associate degree
and a bachelor’s degree. And even though I barely graduated from high school with
a 2.1, I was so excited to open a letter from UVU telling me I had earned a 4.0 and
made the dean’s list during my final semester. Not bad for a girl who was told she
didn’t need an education! It took me exactly 30 years to finish college from when
I graduated high school, and it feels awesome!
Ciria:
When I was 16, I was struggling with the social aspects of high school quite a bit,
and my mom’s first suggestion was to “just drop out.” Education was never a priority
for our family. I ended up not dropping out, but I did leave home. I lived with my
aunt in Oklahoma and was really involved in high school there and very successful.
After high school, I was ready to join the Air Force when Cathy offered to give me
a free place to live. Cathy helped me get into Utah Valley University and with whatever
else I needed. After several semesters I served a religious mission then came back
to UVU and completed an associate degree. After starting a family I returned 13 years
later to complete my bachelor’s degree, which I received in May 2019.
In addition to our childhood struggles, we also have mental illness in our family.
We’ve all struggled with depression and anxiety to some degree. After a five-day stay
in the psych ward, I came back to school with the determination to finish. When I
started school, it was because I felt like I needed to accomplish something in order
to feel important. But after going into therapy and getting help, it evolved into
something I wanted to do for myself. From beginning to finish, it’s taken 24 years
for me to finish college. But I have stuck at it, and UVU has always been there to
see me through it.
Both of our parents came from abusive families. However, we’ve decided to break that
cycle. We’ve overcome a lot — an impoverished childhood, domestic violence and abuse,
mental health issues, and being raised to believe that education wasn’t a priority.
There’s never been much stability, but we have carved our own paths and stuck to it. We both graduated in May of 2019 with our bachelor’s degrees in
university studies, standing side by side.
